When longing becomes a strain: How to deal with distance in your relationship.

The first few weeks of a long-distance relationship are often filled with romantic messages and hours-long phone calls. But over time, the longing can become a real strain. The constant missing of each other takes its toll. Small misunderstandings suddenly seem bigger, simply because you can't just hop over and give the other person a hug.

Patience is being tested: When will we see each other again? Why is she replying so late? The otherwise beautiful fact of missing each other so much can turn sour and become a stress test for the relationship.

It is important to acknowledge this challenge. Many long-distance couples reach a point where distance can begin to create rifts. Studies and surveys show which pitfalls are particularly common: A lack of or decreasing communication and emerging jealousy are among the main reasons why long-distance relationships fail ( White, 2024 ).

If you don't communicate enough, doubts can easily creep in. Similarly, the fear that your partner might meet someone else can strain the relationship. These problems often don't arise from a lack of love, but because distance breeds insecurity and frustration.

So how do you deal with it? Open communication is key. Talk about your longing and what you're missing. Instead of bottling up your anger, share your feelings to avoid misunderstandings. Schedule regular times for in-depth conversations to build closeness. At the same time, actively strengthening trust helps: Remind each other why you're maintaining this distance and reassure each other of your love. Small gestures of appreciation (a surprise letter, an encouraging good morning greeting) can work wonders to keep spirits up.

And most importantly: Keep a shared goal in mind. For example, the point in time when you can bridge the distance. When the longing has a foreseeable direction, it loses its worst terror. In this way, the ordeal becomes a challenge mastered together, which ultimately brings you even closer.